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Ask The Nincompoops

Andy Stanton & Carrie Quinlan

Ask The Nincompoops

A riotously funny all-ages podcast where Andy Stanton (author of the Mr Gum books, extremely bright) and Carrie Quinlan (of Radio 4, also extremely bright) allow children (not bright) to ask any questions that they want the answers to. Who invented cheese? What are trees for and why are they everywhere? What’s the opposite of a kettle?


Using their immense

There are 40 episodes
© Andy Stanton & Carrie Quinlan Episodes: 40 Ages: 6-10, 11plus

Episodes
The most recent appears first.

  • ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS are back AND NEED YOUR QUESTIONS!

    00:00:58 Season 3 Episode 16 14 May 2026 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3 Lesson 15: Do Rocks and Pebbles Taste Nice?

    00:19:11 Season 3 Episode 15 9 December 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3 Lesson 14: Why Do Flamingos Stand On One Leg?

    00:22:10 Season 3 Episode 14 2 December 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 13: Why Are Sprouts Disgusting?

    00:20:30 Season 3 Episode 13 25 November 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3 Lesson 12: What Is The World Made Of?

    00:21:52 Season 3 Episode 12 18 November 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 11: Where Does All The Poo In The World End Up?

    00:23:12 Season 3 Episode 11 11 November 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 10: Who Invented The Door?

    00:21:24 Season 3 Episode 10 3 November 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 9 : Why Do Horsemen Have Babies?

    00:21:11 Season 3 Episode 9 28 October 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 8: How Do You Make Scrambled Eggs?

    00:20:56 Season 3 Episode 8 21 October 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 7: Who Invented Ketchup?

    00:20:32 Season 3 Episode 7 14 October 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 6: How Long Have You Been Doing This?

    00:20:03 Season 3 Episode 6 7 October 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 5: How Big Was The World’s Biggest Crisp Ever?

    00:19:57 Season 3 Episode 5 30 September 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 4: Why Do Speakers Make Music Loud?

    00:20:01 Season 3 Episode 4 23 September 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 3: Who Invented Cricket?

    00:23:03 Season 3 Episode 3 16 September 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 2: Why Do Adults Drink Horrible Things Like Coffee?

    00:20:20 Season 3 Episode 2 9 September 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 3, Lesson 1: Why Is Water See-Through?

    00:21:26 Season 3 Episode 1 2 September 2023 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS ARE BACK!

    00:00:30 Season 3 26 August 2023 Listened

    // Ask The Nincompoops are BACK! And they're going to STAY BEING BACK!… //

  • ASK THE CHRISTMAS NINCOMPOOPS live on Saturday 17th December at Kings Place in London!

    00:00:42 Season 2 Episode 14 15 December 2022 Listened

    // Now’s your chance to put YOUR questions LIVE to the huge SQUISHY brains of two GENIUSES as the brilliant ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS brings you it's first annual Christmas show!… //

  • ASK THE CHRISTMAS NINCOMPOOPS live on Saturday 17th December at Kings Place in London!

    00:00:52 Season 2 Episode 13 2 December 2022 Listened

    // Now’s your chance to put YOUR questions LIVE to the huge SQUISHY brains of two GENIUSES as the brilliant ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS brings you it's first annual Christmas show!… //

  • ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS live at the London Podcast Festival!

    00:01:35 Season 2 Episode 12 23 August 2022 Listened

    // Now’s your chance to put YOUR questions LIVE to the huge SQUISHY brains of two GENIUSES as the brilliant ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS makes its LIVE debut!… //

  • Term 2, Episode 10: Why Does A Clock Tick?

    00:22:14 Season 2 Episode 11 3 January 2020 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 9: Do Superheroes Take Holidays?

    00:18:51 Season 2 Episode 10 27 December 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • The Ask The Nincompoops Christmas Special!

    00:23:06 Season 2 Episode 9 23 December 2019 Listened

    // In this edumactational festive special, Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are answering the Christmas questions sent into them by listeners to the Ask The Nincompoops podcasts.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 8: If You Were On An Aeroplane With Your Least Favourite People, Who Would You Kick Off?

    00:19:45 Season 2 Episode 8 20 December 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 7: Were Cavemen Actually Real?

    00:21:25 Season 2 Episode 7 13 December 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 6: When We Get Tired of Walking, Why Can’t We Just Start Flying?

    00:19:42 Season 2 Episode 6 6 December 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 5: What Are Trees For and Why Are They Everywhere?

    00:20:23 Season 2 Episode 5 29 November 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 4: Why is Google called Google?

    00:20:37 Season 2 Episode 4 22 November 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 3: Why Don’t Dogs Poo in the Toilet?

    00:20:49 Season 2 Episode 3 15 November 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 2: What's The Point of Wasps?

    00:24:51 Season 2 Episode 2 8 November 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING.… //

  • Term 2, Lesson 1: How Do Mirrors Make You See Yourself?

    00:20:15 Season 2 Episode 1 1 November 2019 Listened

    // Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. All you children have soft, squashy brains which don't work very well. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. After all, how many kids have won the Nobel Prize for Genetics? NONE.… //

  • Episode 8: Why Is Maths So Boring?

    00:23:43 Season 1 Episode 8 16 November 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Episode 7: How Do We Turn Into Sausages Into Energy?

    00:22:09 Season 1 Episode 7 9 November 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Episode 6: Why Are Oranges Called Oranges?

    00:21:37 Season 1 Episode 6 2 November 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Episode 5: Why Is A Ruler Called A Ruler?

    00:19:39 Season 1 Episode 5 26 October 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Episode 4: Does Time Only Go Forward?

    00:20:53 Season 1 Episode 4 19 October 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Episode 3: Why Don't Humans Have Stripes?

    00:24:15 Season 1 Episode 3 12 October 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Episode 2: What's the Opposite of a Kettle?

    00:24:30 Season 1 Episode 2 5 October 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Episode 1: Who Invented Cheese?

    00:22:52 Season 1 Episode 1 28 September 2018 Listened

    // For the first time in human history, the tremendously clever grown-ups Andy Stanton (a bearded man behind the beloved Mr Gum books) and Carrie Quinlan (an unbearded woman who comes out of your radio) will be sharing the vast knowledge they've gained during the… //

  • Ask The Nincompoops - Coming Friday 28th September 2018!

    00:01:39 Season 1 13 September 2018 Listened

    // Coming on Friday 28th September, it's Ask The Nincompoops!… //

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